Ideas to enrich social and emotional connections
Inside Tough Kids with Asperger syndrome
Overview; Asperger syndrome Guiding principles to create emotionally sustaining opportunities Raising acceptance and happiness
Belonging
Direct, positive feedback
Case study, that's normal?
The need for heroes and role models
Mentorship
Build a team
Unify attitudes
A mood diary
Eating anxiety and stress
Visual strategies
Strengthening social skills
Formal social skills programs
Rules for keeping friends
Rules for making friends
Informal social skills practice
Social stories
Playful ideas to strengthen social and emotional muscle
Reading voice, body and face
Watching behaviour
Play detective
Literal versus illusive
Compliments
Saying sorry
Empathy
Obsessions and collections
The smart average
Write yourself onto a list
PowerPoint
Teach how to think flexibly
Review, review, review and celebrate wins!
Transitional strategies
Six months before starting at a new school
Several months before starting at a new school
Preparation for new events
Day-to-day transitions
The trouble with choice and ambiguity
Homework
An alternate lunch time
Restoration: down time and break cards
Safe havens
Break cards
Conclusion: influencing change requires planning, commitment and teamwork
Chapter sample
Dylan, like many of my clients, has Asperger syndrome. This chapter is inspired
by the deep admiration I have for the courage he shows. Can you imagine having
to interact in a socially and emotionally rich world, yet consistently finding
it difficult to interpret your own feelings and understand the feelings of others?
This is what confronts Dylan and others with Asperger syndrome as they do their
best to find happiness and success every day.
I can't really tell you when I got it or how Asperger syndrome
feels because it's the way I am. If I had to say one thing about it I'd
say it's confusing, but I couldn't have told you that when I was
younger. No one can see Asperger syndrome and that's part of the problem.
In some ways I'm the same as anyone else, but in other ways I know it
makes me different. In class when the teacher writes page 57 on the board everyone
else seems to know what to do. For me it's not obvious. Once I stop worrying
and work it out everyone else has almost finished and that's so annoying.
I suppose I've had to learn another language, your language. The language
I do understand is computers. They don't fight me, they're not mean
to me, they do exactly what I tell them to do and they are organised the way
my brain is. They are almost like a best friend to people with Asperger syndrome
and that's why I like them so much.
Dylan, 14 years
Guiding principles to create emotionally sustaining opportunities
In this chapter you will find an assortment of ideas teachers, school support
officers, school counsellors and psychologists can use to build socially and
emotionally nourishing opportunities for all kids who experience communication
delays and differences. The primary focus, of course, is for students identified
with Asperger syndrome. For them, not being able to flexibly interpret the social
world triggers emotion and behaviour that is tricky to manage.
Realistically, how much scope is there for us to raise the happiness and emotional
connectivity of children at school? The short answer is that providing we have
the will, educators can contrive countless opportunities to generate optimistic
relationships and situations for young people (Lord and McGee, 2001). Our collective
wisdom and care is potent! Yes, it may be more challenging to influence transformations
in children with core processing differences, and it is likely more testing
to influence constructive change as they become older, but we are a significant
group who understand the kinds of structures and messages these kids need to
receive...